Dear Holy Lords of Slugging:
I write to you with great humility and desperation. I humbly beg for your understanding and assistance.
I do not know what I have done to anger you or to deserve your vicious wrath, but I will do whatever I need to do to make amends.
I feel as if you are working against me, constantly. Everyone I talk to loves their experiences overall, yet I keep getting stuck in these awful situations.
First, you send me to a lot that does not have adequate parking. In the reverse, when there is adequate parking, there aren't adequate rides.
Then you stick me in the car with all kinds of crazy, sexually depraved, bad-tempered, talkative, and generally bizarre people.
Today, with the winds gusting at 30 miles per hour, you stick me in a parking lot FULL of drivers going to destinations other than my own. So much for styling my hair, thank you very much! After you finally decide to cut me some slack, you send in a hippie with a hybrid who doesn't believe in heat (I guess she's counting on global warming to warm us up inside her car?). Then, you pile on to that with the MOST talkative lady to ever ride in the DC HOV lanes and an unexpectedly severe backup.
So, here I sit, dancing dangerously close to hypothermia (but saving the planet apparently) listening to a 90 mile an hour conversation between this woman and herself but only doing about 4 miles an hour on the road. As I try to block out the endless chattering of her mouth and my teeth, I realized that I must have done something to anger you to make you treat me so brutally.
Have I shown too much hubris by trying to arrive at the lot on a consistent schedule? Have I given too many "sympathy" rides, therefore messing up your ability to torture the innocent slugger soul? Have I simply failed to pay the proper dues? Must I sacrifice something at your sacred alter of slugging? Please tell me what I must do, and I will do it!
I am at your service, oh great Lords of Slugging.
Tomorrow, 5 minutes earlier than usual, you will find a gas receipt laying at the bus shelter alter with my solemn promise to behave written in oil and tears. Just please, please give me a nice, quiet ride to work for at least a few days in a row!!!
Please?
Your humble slugging servant,
ME
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Creepy Casanova Strikes Again
Isn't it just my luck that I keep running into the ONE GUY who has pissed me off the MOST over and over and over again?
Mr. Creepy Casanova (the guy who struck out with Blondie a few months ago) was in line in front of me today. There were 3 people initially separating us. I INSTANTLY saw him as I walked up the line, and my stomach lurched just a little. It's a good thing I didn't have time to eat breakfast yet!
Despite the people buffer, he sees me walking up and flashes me the biggest, cheesiest, makes-me-want-to-take-an-acid-shower kind of smile I've ever seen, and he says in a very deliberate deep voice "hi there." The closest comparison I can come up with is Matt Dillon's character in "There's Something About Mary." ICK! He's got so many of the same characteristics as Dillon's character! He's got the big, fluffy hair, the giant teeth, the overly bushy flavor-saver. He wears gold bracelets and necklaces, and his cologne is strong enough to knock you unconscious. In fact, knowing his MO, I wouldn't doubt it if his cologne is a watered-down version of chloroform that will actually knock a woman unconscious if she gets too close.
Anyway, in response to his overly friendly greeting (especially considering our history), I pulled out my Blackberry and turned my back to him. Unfortunately for me, I go to the one destination that doesn't bring in a lot of drivers. So, it wasn't long before the nice, comfortable distance between us closed. There I was... standing next to the guy who commented on the sun when trying to pick up a woman and who made me walk in the mud. Now he's going to try to get on my good side? Not likely. I just had nothing to say. He literally stood there staring right at me for what seemed like FOREVER. I just checked email, and when I ran out of email to read, I decided it would be a good time to review some of the features of my Blackberry. Riveting stuff. I was painfully aware of his not-so-subtle stare, but I was not about to give him the time of day. Besides, how can I look him in the eye when I know he prefers to enter through the exit, if you know what I mean. An excellent example of things not to share with strangers, if you ask me!!!
As is also my luck, the ride ratio worked out just perfectly so that I had to ride with HIM again! Good lord, what have I done to deserve him?
So, we hop into our middle-class limo, and I decide to kick back with the iPod and relax. I needed a good nap, but it wasn't likely because there was a very VERY talkative, chattering woman also riding with us. I needed to make sure that I left absolutely NO opportunities for Mr. Sunshine to try to strike up a friendly chat with me. I just leaned my head against the window and zoned out facing away from him.
At one point, he inserted himself into the people in the front seat's conversation. I noticed that they basically stopped talking after that. He's such an ass, but at least I got some sleep. :) Good on ya.
This guy is NOT on my list of friends, nor will he ever be. But he is apparently on my list of COWORKERS! Yes, that's right! I recently passed him leaving the building I was entering! Oh boy! How long will it be before we get stuck working together? No offense boss, but I'm going on unemployment before I work 2 seconds with that creep!
As if being around him isn't annoying enough, I woke myself up from my little catnap SNORING in the backseat! Wow, I'm one hot babe!! Embarrassed and annoyed, I just counted the seconds until the car stopped.
When we arrived at our destination, we started to get out of the car, and he offered me his HAND! SERIOUSLY? I'm not normally rude, but for him, I would rather not have any kind of physical contact.
I simply said "No thanks. I don't need mud on my shoes today." Then I ducked into Starbucks to avoid having to walk next to him but not before taking in a deep breath of his "cologne"!! It took me at least a good 15 minutes to regain single-vision and not feel light-headed.
Why me?
Happy slugging!
Mr. Creepy Casanova (the guy who struck out with Blondie a few months ago) was in line in front of me today. There were 3 people initially separating us. I INSTANTLY saw him as I walked up the line, and my stomach lurched just a little. It's a good thing I didn't have time to eat breakfast yet!
Despite the people buffer, he sees me walking up and flashes me the biggest, cheesiest, makes-me-want-to-take-an-acid-shower kind of smile I've ever seen, and he says in a very deliberate deep voice "hi there." The closest comparison I can come up with is Matt Dillon's character in "There's Something About Mary." ICK! He's got so many of the same characteristics as Dillon's character! He's got the big, fluffy hair, the giant teeth, the overly bushy flavor-saver. He wears gold bracelets and necklaces, and his cologne is strong enough to knock you unconscious. In fact, knowing his MO, I wouldn't doubt it if his cologne is a watered-down version of chloroform that will actually knock a woman unconscious if she gets too close.
Anyway, in response to his overly friendly greeting (especially considering our history), I pulled out my Blackberry and turned my back to him. Unfortunately for me, I go to the one destination that doesn't bring in a lot of drivers. So, it wasn't long before the nice, comfortable distance between us closed. There I was... standing next to the guy who commented on the sun when trying to pick up a woman and who made me walk in the mud. Now he's going to try to get on my good side? Not likely. I just had nothing to say. He literally stood there staring right at me for what seemed like FOREVER. I just checked email, and when I ran out of email to read, I decided it would be a good time to review some of the features of my Blackberry. Riveting stuff. I was painfully aware of his not-so-subtle stare, but I was not about to give him the time of day. Besides, how can I look him in the eye when I know he prefers to enter through the exit, if you know what I mean. An excellent example of things not to share with strangers, if you ask me!!!
As is also my luck, the ride ratio worked out just perfectly so that I had to ride with HIM again! Good lord, what have I done to deserve him?
So, we hop into our middle-class limo, and I decide to kick back with the iPod and relax. I needed a good nap, but it wasn't likely because there was a very VERY talkative, chattering woman also riding with us. I needed to make sure that I left absolutely NO opportunities for Mr. Sunshine to try to strike up a friendly chat with me. I just leaned my head against the window and zoned out facing away from him.
At one point, he inserted himself into the people in the front seat's conversation. I noticed that they basically stopped talking after that. He's such an ass, but at least I got some sleep. :) Good on ya.
This guy is NOT on my list of friends, nor will he ever be. But he is apparently on my list of COWORKERS! Yes, that's right! I recently passed him leaving the building I was entering! Oh boy! How long will it be before we get stuck working together? No offense boss, but I'm going on unemployment before I work 2 seconds with that creep!
As if being around him isn't annoying enough, I woke myself up from my little catnap SNORING in the backseat! Wow, I'm one hot babe!! Embarrassed and annoyed, I just counted the seconds until the car stopped.
When we arrived at our destination, we started to get out of the car, and he offered me his HAND! SERIOUSLY? I'm not normally rude, but for him, I would rather not have any kind of physical contact.
I simply said "No thanks. I don't need mud on my shoes today." Then I ducked into Starbucks to avoid having to walk next to him but not before taking in a deep breath of his "cologne"!! It took me at least a good 15 minutes to regain single-vision and not feel light-headed.
Why me?
Happy slugging!
Friday, January 25, 2008
DC Slug High School
A lot of us couldn't wait to get out of high school. Some of us were looking forward to starting a new chapter of our lives that didn't involve backstabbing cliques and a relentless rumor mill that could destroy someone's reputation in a nanosecond. Unfortunately, it appears that those high school characteristics never go away, they simply shift to an adult crowd.
It's not uncommon to get to know the names and faces of those people who slug with you, especially if you are on a regular schedule. It's also not uncommon to get to know some of their "stories." If you stand in line long enough, which I do, you start to learn who knows whom and who likes whom. It is basically like high school. Cliques form. People develop grudges. It's a neverending cycle of immaturity.
Today, I heard some ladies talking about some other ladies who slug from our line. If there would have been a few more "like"s thrown into it, I would have sworn I was in high school again.
First, they were talking about a guy in the line (think football player grows up, loses hair, gains a few pounds). They were giggling and whispering like they were plotting to ask him to go "steady." Good lord! So, out of curiosity, I checked it out. Yeah, he was cute in a middle-aged, getting soft, probably works on computers now kind of way. But these ladies were smitten. I figure there is a shortage of available men in their office for them to have focused in on this guy so closely. Anyway, they giggled and whispered about him for what seemed like forever until, thank God, he got a ride and left.
In the absence of male butt cheeks to giggle about, they turned their juvenile energy on a particular woman who appears to have some sort of connection to them. The woman was standing there, all alone, in line minding her own business. They started picking her apart. They criticized everything she was wearing, how she does her hair, the color lipstick she was wearing. They stopped short of making fun of her purse for some reason, but personally I felt that was the worst part of her ensemble. Clearly, they are no authorities.
After they performed a fashion autopsy (incomplete as it was), they moved to a discussion of her dating habits. It went like this:
Woman 1: "Did you hear that she dated Joe from the 3rd floor?"
Woman 2: "(dog-like giggle) Who hasn't?"
Woman 1: "He dumped her because she wanted to get serious."
Woman 2: "I heard he dumped her because she had an STD."
Woman 1: "No WAY!??"
Woman 2: "OH Yes! She's a walking VD. (dog-like giggle...snort)"
Woman 1: "Well, Jenny told me that she was trying to get Joe to have a baby with her but he wasn't interested. He wanted to get away from her as fast as he could!"
Woman 2: "(dog-like giggle...snort...squeal) She's a tramp anyway."
Wow, I think my face just broke out and my breasts got smaller.
Now, keep in mind that I'm standing roughly in between these ladies and where this poor VD-ridden woman with no taste in purses was standing. I know she could hear them, especially as the distance between them shrank as the line moved along. I felt bad for her, and I felt like I should help. People were all sort of standing there uncomfortably acting as if they aren't hearing all this.
My ride arrived, and I had to walk past Syph-girl. Just like in High School, I did what I could to stand up for those who were undeservedly targeted by those who have low self-esteem. She seemed like she was getting an unnecessary roasting, so I tried to help her out.
In a not-so-subtle way, I said to her, and everyone else in line, as I approached my ride "I heard that the woman in the black coat slept with Bobby in the backseat of his Mom's car, but he won't touch her again because her left nipple is hairy and inverted."
Everyone laughed. (Except the lady in the black coat and her BFF.)
Needless to say, I expect they will find things to say about me the next time we find ourselves in line together.
Since I have an impeccable fashion sense and my purse rocks, they will have to dig up something on my prom date.
GO! FIGHT! WIN! LET THE GAMES BEGIN! :)
It's not uncommon to get to know the names and faces of those people who slug with you, especially if you are on a regular schedule. It's also not uncommon to get to know some of their "stories." If you stand in line long enough, which I do, you start to learn who knows whom and who likes whom. It is basically like high school. Cliques form. People develop grudges. It's a neverending cycle of immaturity.
Today, I heard some ladies talking about some other ladies who slug from our line. If there would have been a few more "like"s thrown into it, I would have sworn I was in high school again.
First, they were talking about a guy in the line (think football player grows up, loses hair, gains a few pounds). They were giggling and whispering like they were plotting to ask him to go "steady." Good lord! So, out of curiosity, I checked it out. Yeah, he was cute in a middle-aged, getting soft, probably works on computers now kind of way. But these ladies were smitten. I figure there is a shortage of available men in their office for them to have focused in on this guy so closely. Anyway, they giggled and whispered about him for what seemed like forever until, thank God, he got a ride and left.
In the absence of male butt cheeks to giggle about, they turned their juvenile energy on a particular woman who appears to have some sort of connection to them. The woman was standing there, all alone, in line minding her own business. They started picking her apart. They criticized everything she was wearing, how she does her hair, the color lipstick she was wearing. They stopped short of making fun of her purse for some reason, but personally I felt that was the worst part of her ensemble. Clearly, they are no authorities.
After they performed a fashion autopsy (incomplete as it was), they moved to a discussion of her dating habits. It went like this:
Woman 1: "Did you hear that she dated Joe from the 3rd floor?"
Woman 2: "(dog-like giggle) Who hasn't?"
Woman 1: "He dumped her because she wanted to get serious."
Woman 2: "I heard he dumped her because she had an STD."
Woman 1: "No WAY!??"
Woman 2: "OH Yes! She's a walking VD. (dog-like giggle...snort)"
Woman 1: "Well, Jenny told me that she was trying to get Joe to have a baby with her but he wasn't interested. He wanted to get away from her as fast as he could!"
Woman 2: "(dog-like giggle...snort...squeal) She's a tramp anyway."
Wow, I think my face just broke out and my breasts got smaller.
Now, keep in mind that I'm standing roughly in between these ladies and where this poor VD-ridden woman with no taste in purses was standing. I know she could hear them, especially as the distance between them shrank as the line moved along. I felt bad for her, and I felt like I should help. People were all sort of standing there uncomfortably acting as if they aren't hearing all this.
My ride arrived, and I had to walk past Syph-girl. Just like in High School, I did what I could to stand up for those who were undeservedly targeted by those who have low self-esteem. She seemed like she was getting an unnecessary roasting, so I tried to help her out.
In a not-so-subtle way, I said to her, and everyone else in line, as I approached my ride "I heard that the woman in the black coat slept with Bobby in the backseat of his Mom's car, but he won't touch her again because her left nipple is hairy and inverted."
Everyone laughed. (Except the lady in the black coat and her BFF.)
Needless to say, I expect they will find things to say about me the next time we find ourselves in line together.
Since I have an impeccable fashion sense and my purse rocks, they will have to dig up something on my prom date.
GO! FIGHT! WIN! LET THE GAMES BEGIN! :)
Monday, January 14, 2008
A Mean Streak
If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I have encountered some ugly situations while slugging. So please keep that in mind as you read this. :)
Circumstances have me doing a lot of driving lately, so I have a different slug perspective. This morning I just felt like being a little bit mean. Nothing that I should be too ashamed of, but it was just a little cruel. Let me explain before you go off judging me!
I woke up after only about 1.5 hours sleep, sick children are such a treat, and I had a RAGING headache. So, on top of being tired, stressed, and a little bit sad, I had to drive to work today. Normally, I can catch a little power nap on the way in when someone else drives. Needless to say, I was a little resentful that the guy who jumped in the front seat this morning was comatose before I ever left the lot! No, seriously, he was SLUMPED over in the front seat within 5 minutes. If it weren't for the seat belt, this guy would've been laying in his own lap.
On top of that, the lady in the backseat brought the LOUDEST shopping bag I've ever heard. OK, granted, I was a little sensitive this morning, but COME ONE! I kept hearing this high-pitched crinkling sound the whole way in. It was almost as bad as the gum popping lady. She kept shifting it around and adjusting it. Nothing was stopping that noise. If you are going to recycle plastic bags, that is just fine with me. Use them as much as possible. But can you only do it with the quality ones? Target has some nice plastic bags that don't really make noises. The cheap bags you get with your Chinese take-out shouldn't have ever been used to begin with! Use them with the pooper scooper! It's likely that there used to be a dog in the bag anyway ("chicken" chow mein anyone?).
Moving on.
After a few miles, I started to feel just a little mischievous. I decided to see just how deeply he was asleep. First, I CRANKED the heat up REALLY high. I mean it got so hot in there I couldn't breathe. Finally, I gave in after I realized that I was getting third degree burns on my feet. So, heat wasn't going to disturb him.
I noticed he would twitch a little when I changed lanes or stepped on the brake. AH HA! A weakness revealed. So, I started doing some "aggressive" driving (i.e. hard and sudden braking and abrupt lane changes) to see how that would affect him. Every time I hit the brake hard, his head would sort of roll forward, but he still wasn't waking up. This guy was TIRED. Being there myself, I just couldn't let him have a peaceful nap. I know it was wrong, but it was keeping me awake. :) Ultimately, that's in everyone's best interest anyway.
I'm not a tailgater, and I don't do aggressive lane changes. I'm a safe driver. (no comment necessary!) So, I had to simulate these things to get him to wake up. Unfortunately, every time I did, the lady's bag would rattle, driving me closer to the edge of insanity. There were only a few times that the guy seemed to even budge when I would do something like that, so I decided to give that up.
Then I got a tickle in my throat!
Ta da! He didn't like that very much. It appears he can sleep through near-death experiences, but excessive hacking wakes him up! :)
For the last few miles of the trip, I would do a really good, deep-chest cough. He would raise his head, eerily like Dawn of the Dead, and then he would settle back down. Out of the corner of my eye, I'd see his head drop back down, and I'd suddenly feel the urge to cough again.
In all fairness, I should have let the poor guy sleep. But I wasn't feeling fair this morning. I was doing a good deed by driving, especially at these gas prices, so I felt I needed a little entertainment that couldn't be fulfilled by music this time.
The crinkling bag lady in the back must have thought I had Bird Flu because she seemed to recoil every time I coughed. Bonus! One time I even turned my head in her direction, just for fun. (I'm not actually sick, and these were manufactured coughs. I was not intentionally spreading a disease, so calm down!!)
It's amazing how a simple ride to work can turn into a rewarding, cathartic experience. While I'm still tired, I feel somewhat energized knowing that I spread a little bit of discontent this morning. Somewhere out there, one of my slugs is probably acting a little grumpy because of their ride to work, further spreading discontent. Have a nice day! :)
Maybe tomorrow I will talk to myself the whole way in.
Happy slugging!
Circumstances have me doing a lot of driving lately, so I have a different slug perspective. This morning I just felt like being a little bit mean. Nothing that I should be too ashamed of, but it was just a little cruel. Let me explain before you go off judging me!
I woke up after only about 1.5 hours sleep, sick children are such a treat, and I had a RAGING headache. So, on top of being tired, stressed, and a little bit sad, I had to drive to work today. Normally, I can catch a little power nap on the way in when someone else drives. Needless to say, I was a little resentful that the guy who jumped in the front seat this morning was comatose before I ever left the lot! No, seriously, he was SLUMPED over in the front seat within 5 minutes. If it weren't for the seat belt, this guy would've been laying in his own lap.
On top of that, the lady in the backseat brought the LOUDEST shopping bag I've ever heard. OK, granted, I was a little sensitive this morning, but COME ONE! I kept hearing this high-pitched crinkling sound the whole way in. It was almost as bad as the gum popping lady. She kept shifting it around and adjusting it. Nothing was stopping that noise. If you are going to recycle plastic bags, that is just fine with me. Use them as much as possible. But can you only do it with the quality ones? Target has some nice plastic bags that don't really make noises. The cheap bags you get with your Chinese take-out shouldn't have ever been used to begin with! Use them with the pooper scooper! It's likely that there used to be a dog in the bag anyway ("chicken" chow mein anyone?).
Moving on.
After a few miles, I started to feel just a little mischievous. I decided to see just how deeply he was asleep. First, I CRANKED the heat up REALLY high. I mean it got so hot in there I couldn't breathe. Finally, I gave in after I realized that I was getting third degree burns on my feet. So, heat wasn't going to disturb him.
I noticed he would twitch a little when I changed lanes or stepped on the brake. AH HA! A weakness revealed. So, I started doing some "aggressive" driving (i.e. hard and sudden braking and abrupt lane changes) to see how that would affect him. Every time I hit the brake hard, his head would sort of roll forward, but he still wasn't waking up. This guy was TIRED. Being there myself, I just couldn't let him have a peaceful nap. I know it was wrong, but it was keeping me awake. :) Ultimately, that's in everyone's best interest anyway.
I'm not a tailgater, and I don't do aggressive lane changes. I'm a safe driver. (no comment necessary!) So, I had to simulate these things to get him to wake up. Unfortunately, every time I did, the lady's bag would rattle, driving me closer to the edge of insanity. There were only a few times that the guy seemed to even budge when I would do something like that, so I decided to give that up.
Then I got a tickle in my throat!
Ta da! He didn't like that very much. It appears he can sleep through near-death experiences, but excessive hacking wakes him up! :)
For the last few miles of the trip, I would do a really good, deep-chest cough. He would raise his head, eerily like Dawn of the Dead, and then he would settle back down. Out of the corner of my eye, I'd see his head drop back down, and I'd suddenly feel the urge to cough again.
In all fairness, I should have let the poor guy sleep. But I wasn't feeling fair this morning. I was doing a good deed by driving, especially at these gas prices, so I felt I needed a little entertainment that couldn't be fulfilled by music this time.
The crinkling bag lady in the back must have thought I had Bird Flu because she seemed to recoil every time I coughed. Bonus! One time I even turned my head in her direction, just for fun. (I'm not actually sick, and these were manufactured coughs. I was not intentionally spreading a disease, so calm down!!)
It's amazing how a simple ride to work can turn into a rewarding, cathartic experience. While I'm still tired, I feel somewhat energized knowing that I spread a little bit of discontent this morning. Somewhere out there, one of my slugs is probably acting a little grumpy because of their ride to work, further spreading discontent. Have a nice day! :)
Maybe tomorrow I will talk to myself the whole way in.
Happy slugging!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Lost and Found
First of all, Happy New Year to everyone! I am simply going to admit that I have been too lazy to update the blog during the holidays. I was going to do a year in retrospect, but let's face it, I didn't feel like it. So moving on to 2008 without further delay.
So, considering that sluggers are hitchhiking with complete strangers, there are some things that are a little difficult to do. For example, if you lose something, how do you get it back? If you are lucky, you will lose something around someone that you know. There are some sites you can try to post a lost and found type message, but unless someone is specifically trying to seek you out to return your lost goods, you can pretty much kiss it goodbye. I've often tried to think through a scenario where I lose something very valuable and want it back. I try to figure out how I would get the word out that I've lost something.
Despite the fact that I like to keep this blog anonymous for obvious reasons, I will use this particular outlet to try to get something very valuable that I've lost returned to me. It should be pretty easy for those who know that I lost this to figure out who I am. Hopefully, they can help me out.
Here goes. Wish me luck!
LOST: My dignity.
Last Seen: Sometime between getting on the metro at L'Enfant Plaza and getting off at the Pentagon.
Last person to see it: The rude, young military guy who wouldn't give up his seat for the disabled old man, thus forcing me to get up and give up MINE.
How it was lost: Walking across the Pentagon parking lot with the skirt of my dress folded up underneath my belt in the back. More than likely occurred when I stood up to give up my seat to the sweet old man who could barely stand.
Possible witnesses: the ENTIRE parking lot of the Pentagon.
It's pretty common to find someone who works in, around, or with the U.S. military in this area. I am not exception. I will admit that I work around the defense industry. What I've learned being around the military is that they are typically very polite and will go out of their way to help someone. Obviously, I blame the lazy military guy who didn't get up for this unfortunate loss (I won't name the service, but its initials are N A V Y).
Well, I can basically say this. I've done my part to support the troops by giving the boys (and girls) at the Pentagon a little "show."
If anyone who was walking behind me today and happened to see where I lost my beloved dignity, please return it ASAP.
So, considering that sluggers are hitchhiking with complete strangers, there are some things that are a little difficult to do. For example, if you lose something, how do you get it back? If you are lucky, you will lose something around someone that you know. There are some sites you can try to post a lost and found type message, but unless someone is specifically trying to seek you out to return your lost goods, you can pretty much kiss it goodbye. I've often tried to think through a scenario where I lose something very valuable and want it back. I try to figure out how I would get the word out that I've lost something.
Despite the fact that I like to keep this blog anonymous for obvious reasons, I will use this particular outlet to try to get something very valuable that I've lost returned to me. It should be pretty easy for those who know that I lost this to figure out who I am. Hopefully, they can help me out.
Here goes. Wish me luck!
LOST: My dignity.
Last Seen: Sometime between getting on the metro at L'Enfant Plaza and getting off at the Pentagon.
Last person to see it: The rude, young military guy who wouldn't give up his seat for the disabled old man, thus forcing me to get up and give up MINE.
How it was lost: Walking across the Pentagon parking lot with the skirt of my dress folded up underneath my belt in the back. More than likely occurred when I stood up to give up my seat to the sweet old man who could barely stand.
Possible witnesses: the ENTIRE parking lot of the Pentagon.
It's pretty common to find someone who works in, around, or with the U.S. military in this area. I am not exception. I will admit that I work around the defense industry. What I've learned being around the military is that they are typically very polite and will go out of their way to help someone. Obviously, I blame the lazy military guy who didn't get up for this unfortunate loss (I won't name the service, but its initials are N A V Y).
Well, I can basically say this. I've done my part to support the troops by giving the boys (and girls) at the Pentagon a little "show."
If anyone who was walking behind me today and happened to see where I lost my beloved dignity, please return it ASAP.
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