Keep the Slimy Paws Off My Settings

In the world of DC hitchiking, there are some basic human needs that must be met.

1. A safe, clean ride.
2. Drop off at the agreed upon location.
3. Preferably, temperature is adjusted to match the weather.

There are some "creature comforts" that are somewhat in question.

1. The volume level, and choice of music, of the radio.
2. The actual temperature of the interior.
3. The cleanliness and space available for your actual seat.

Having said all of this, I'm here to say that there is ONE thing that is not required to be provided, nor is it in question as to whether or not it should be provided. That one thing is.....

THE POSITION OF MY SEATS!!!!!!!!

When I decide to drive, I'm the INCREDIBLY friendly driver that opens the door to my passengers to comment on the temperature. I make sure they know that it's OK to adjust the vetns if they need to, and I invite temperature adjustment suggestions. NEVER ONCE do you hear me say, "oh please, come on in and readjust all of my seat settings to meet your needs!" If someone gets in and my seat is too far forward (or backward), I will make it clear that they can move the seat up or back. That's only the kind thing to do. But, when you get in and start settling yourself in as if this is your own personal limo suited specifically to your needs, we have a PROBLEM. No, you are not allowed to recline my seats back. No, you are not allowed to move my headrests around. This is not American Airlines. It's not OK to get in and make yourself at home. You aren't going to be in my car for that long (yes, if it actually were American Airlines, you'd be there for a WHILE). It's not like I have my seats adjusted into a backbreaking posture!

Anyway, it's supposed to be a somewhat comfortable ride for you, although God knows I've had my share of sketchy ones. It is not a custom-tailored situation for you. Get in, put your seatbelt on, GO TO SLEEP. Hell, if you ask, I might consent to the changes as long as you agree to put them back where you found them. (Please return trays and seatbacks to their upright position) Otherwise, leave my car's settings alone. That's all I ask.

So, a new rule to throw out there: sluggers, keep your slimy hands off my seats!

Happy slugging!