Off To a Sluggish Start

I'm on my 6th day of slugging, and so far, I've met some interesting characters. I knew from Day 1 that I was going to have some interesting stories to tell, but since I'm 6 days behind, I will simply summarize my experiences so far.

Slugging with complete strangers twice a day gives you a new perspective on humanity. Certainly, you have to take into account that you are being invited into someone's personal vehicle and receiving a free ride to work. That isn't to say that this is a one-sided relationship by any means. Without slugs, a driver going into downtown DC, or even the Pentagon, could find themselves in traffic on the mainline of I95 three times longer than on the HOV. So understanding that this is a mutually beneficial relationship is key.

There are websites, books, message boards, email lists, and many other media that talk about slugging etiquette and provide resources for drivers and riders. The rules, while "unwritten," appear to be passed down by tradition fairly well. So far, I've experienced that most of those rules are quite easily discarded depending on the driver or rider.

Rule Violation #1: Day 1 of my slugging experience started off with a middle-aged, normal looking woman picking me and another man up to head into DC. All was well until we got to the light at the outside of the sluglot. That's when she knew she had a captive audience, and without batting an eyelash she inserted what I am convinced was an evangelical indoctrination seminar. Despite the fact that my iPod was on, I began to pick up on little things that were coming out of this driver's radio. From the tone and cadence of the speaker, I instantly knew that it was some form of religious sermon. While drivers are obviously allowed to listen to whatever they want in their cars, this seemed to overlap with a cardinal slug rule (and a generally accepted rule of polite behavior). NEVER DISCUSS POLITICS, RELIGION, OR SEX WITH STRANGERS. OK, so she wasn't exactly discussing religion, her brainwashing tapes were far from subtle. The topic of this tape (yes, it was a cassette tape) was standard Baptist religious sermon stuff until the guy on the tape began to talk about how women need to be more submissive to their men and stop blaming the men for their own shortcomings. OK, WHAT THE FUCK??? Seriously?

This particular experience wasn't my only experience with the "no religion" rule in my short 6 days. The next experience was far less offensive, but annoying nonetheless. If I'm going to work, I want a nice, safe, quiet ride to work. I managed to get into a car with two older black men who immediately began discussing their faith and religious experiences. Again, nothing offensive or off the wall, but I simply wanted to get into his nice plush ride and SLEEP. Once again, my iPod was pushed to its capacity in an effort to drown out the Baptist dribblings.

Rule Violation #2: OK, this one should be a given, but I have to say that it's alarmingly not followed. IF YOU ARE A BAD DRIVER, PLEASE DON'T PICK UP STRANGERS AND MAKE THEM FEAR FOR THEIR LIVES. On THREE occasions already, I have been a passenger in what seemed to be a fast ride to Hell (good thing I'd been exposed to all that religion ahead of time!). One lady, clearly a New Yorker, couldn't drive the car and talk at the same time because she was basically pointing the car in the direction of her hand gestures. Not a good idea on a straight road. She wasn't so bad. Today was basically themed "Holy Shit! Watch What You are Doing" day for me on both rides. My morning commute started with a very nice woman, in a very nice car, who talked 100 miles an hour but drive 150. Pretty scary when everyone else is going 75 (still over the speed limit, but an acceptable one). But even her Nascar paced driving didn't compare to kamikaze crazy man this afternoon!

From the SECOND I got into his big ass boat-sized car, I knew I was in trouble. He pulled out in front of oncoming traffic, narrowly escaping being sideswiped (yes, my side). He then ran 2 stop signs on the way TO the interstate. Once on the on-ramp to 95, he began SCREAMING at the drivers around him for no apparent reason. Now,I admit that I feel the need to yell at the occasional reckless asshole on 95, but EVERYONE pissed this guy off! He clearly wanted to get home quickly because he was going so fast, everything around me was a blur. The one thing that WAS clear was the bumper of the cars in front of us that he was only inches away from. You might assume that I'm using hyperbole here, but I promise you, there were literal inches separating us from death. When things quieted down, he stopped screaming, but he decided to comment and cuss at all the surrounding drivers under his breath. At first, I was hoping he was reciting the rosary or something (hey, it's a religious theme!), but when I managed to decipher "mother fuckers just won't get out of my way!" OVER AND OVER AGAIN I freaked out. My normal hour to hour 10 commute took me 45 minutes! If that doesn't give you perspective, I don't know what else will!

Do aggressive drivers not know they are aggressive? Do they just assume that everyone sucks? Only time will tell, if I survive!



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