The Consequences of Sleeping with Strangers

Determined to have a restful nap this morning, I strode to the line with great excitement when I saw the line was short and cars were piling up. I knew my odds of getting a quick ride were pretty good. I recognized the person in front of me as being a regular to my location, so we chatted briefly. Within about 2 minutes of arriving, I scored a ride! My friendly "regular" bumped me out of the backseat privilege, which I knew would make napping less comfortable, but I was determined to get in a few more minutes of sleep before getting here today.

It's raining, so traffic was heavier than a "normal" day. Within 5 minutes, I was asleep. Deep, head resting on your chest, lips drooping kind of sleep. I woke briefly when the driver slammed on his wet brakes, but once I did a quick assessment and realized all was good, I hit the snooze button hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep. And I did.

The next thing to wake me up was "Oh, I took the wrong exit." Still half asleep, I once again did an assessment. Before opening my eyes, I thought to myself "great, this guy is going to take us to Rock Creek Park and murder us slowly." I tentatively opened my eyes to see him taking an exit that should have been easy to navigate in the general direction toward where we needed to go. But, when 3 strangers share a car, you never know what talents any of them have.

The driver and I were directionally retarded. I tried, as I often do when lost, to orient myself to the landmarks. I knew that this one particularly notable DC landmark was something I see from my office everyday, so I tried to mentally backtrack from there to my office. That didn't work real well. The driver handed me a map and then insisted on just going whatever direction he felt we needed to go. After about 15 minutes aimlessly wandering the one-way, wrong-way, security barricaded streets of DC, my backseat stealing friend said "we're on the wrong side of DC guys!" Well, that would have been helpful to know about 10 turns ago wouldn't it!!!

So we turned ourselves around (thank you for the few roundabouts in DC), and I tried to navigate using his tiny, mouse-sized map of DC. I couldn't tell where we were or what direction we were going in, but I was completely and utterly lost! The driver was in no better shape than me, and backseat stealer was just saying to go "south." Helpful!

We finally started to get into an area that I recognized and frequently go to. The problem is when I go into DC it's usually by Metro or someone else's car. I don't drive in DC for a good reason! It was designed by a French moron! We reached a landmark restaurant that I love to frequent, and I was pretty sure I could get us back from there. Another problem there is that I always WALK to that restaurant from work, so I cut through parks and alleys. Not terribly helpful when driving!

I started to roughly remember the general way back and maneuvered us around the dead-ends and barriers until we finally got on a street I KNEW would get us to my office.

At this point, the driver was really nervous because he was going to be late to a meeting and he still had to drop us off and drive more to get there. He was tapping his leg and muttering to himself, and I kept feeling a little stupid for not knowing my way around the city I've worked in for YEARS! But then I thought to myself, "wait a minute self! You were a passenger in his car. HE was supposed to know how to get you there!"

We finally made it here an HOUR late, and I couldn't help but laugh. I felt bad for him for being late to his meeting, but I was late to work too! It took us an hour to navigate through DC to go just a few miles! It was pathetic. We had a collective navigation brain trust of negative zero!

I started to think to myself...I would never go on a date without being prepared. I'm thinking I should never get in another car without a map at least.